Now For the Big Goodbye

It's not imminent or anything, but I will have to start wrapping this up and saying goodbye to people very soon. I'm coming home in July, which, after 2 years here, is no time at all. I got kind of reflective on my whole experience here as Alex and I were sweating our tails off while waiting for 2 hours for a beat up car to leave some dusty little Senegalese village (these are things I will absolutely try to forget....) Anyway, we were talking, and I told her why I joined Peace Corps in the first place. A lot of volunteers here joined to "make a difference" or to help people. I could pretend to be noble and say I joined for those reasons, but that's completely untrue. I joined Peace Corps because I wanted to travel and see things, and I had NO IDEA what I wanted to do with myself after college. I have accomplished both of those goals. I have LIVED in Mauritania for 2 years. I have an entire life here that I will need to leave behind in a few weeks, and I'm not sure if I'm equipped to do that. I love my host family, and they love me. We have been eachother's family for 2 years, and that will be difficult to just walk away from. Sure, I'll call often. But it's not really the same as sitting around all day shooting the breeze. Who will help my host sisters with their homework? Who will play with the baby when it starts crying? I'm sure that my space will be filled shortly, but these are things that I will miss.

Then, there's teaching. Two years ago, I had zero interest in being a teacher. I figured that this is something I would do for 2 years, then move on. Even this summer, I was on the fence. Now? I LOVE teaching. I love working with teenagers, their energy, their dramas, and watching them grow up. I love being a part of that process. If I have been happy during my second year here (and I absolutely have), then I can attribute a great deal of that happiness to my students and the other teachers at school. I'll miss Mohamed Vall, the Arabic teacher, coming in every morning and trying out something new in English. I'll miss my Moor boys in Third Year screaming "What's uuuuup, Teacher?" when I walk in the room. I plan on teaching in the US when I get home, but I know it won't be the same. There is such a strong sense of community in Mauritania, and teachers are integral parts of it. My students run on over to my house at all hours of the day if they want help with homework, want their grades, or just want to say hi. I love that, and I know that it will not be the same in the US.

I am looking forward to going home, to seeing my family and friends, to being somewhat clean again, and to not looking totally ragged and gross all the time. However, I am just now realizing that there's a huge loss involved with coming home. It kind of kills me just thinking about it. I had thought about staying a third year here, but realistically, as much as I have loved it here, it's time to go home. I figure the best way to deal with it is to just suck it up, rip of the Band- Aid, and get on the plane (where they have red wine and airplane food that is better and more nutritious than anything I have eaten in 2 years!) Flame on, Mauritania. Tu me manqueras.